Home is more than four walls and roof. Home is a door opening to you, your family, your pets, your lifestyle, your neighborhood, your community, your city. It’s all encompassing on so many levels.
Love Shack Baby!
Cohabitating is not the easiest, no matter how much you love your person…
There you are, minding your own business and then they walk into the room. They walk towards you—cue slo-mo. You sheepishly bat those lashes, they confidently go in for the kiss. You smile and then quickly reject potential kiss to present the pile of dishes in the sink they forgot to do this morning before leaving for work. Not today sweety, not today.
This is just a typical scene of couples cohabitating. ANYONE who says it’s so easy to live with someone else is either a liar or has found some long lost unicorn in some foreign land. Rainbows aside, living together takes finesse, patience, and boundaries. Buying or renting a home together also has its various challenges. So let’s explore.
The Six Month Rule
In high school, my psych teacher taught me a valuable lesson (thanks, Mr. Pillow). Every relationship changes at six months. Six months is the period where you are contemplating a life with this person. It is the time when the infatuation ends and the observations begin. It’s when you’ll notice everything from the way they sip their coffee to the way they manage their money. Keep this in mind for later…
Your Place or Mine?
As time rolls and the relationship becomes deeper with sleepovers becoming more frequent, the “Let’s live together” convo happens. This is a crucial part of the relationship and where things become wide open. it’s mostly justified in financial terms, saving money and all, but it also comes down to not wanting to be apart from your person for too long. So comes the decision on who will be cohabitating with whom. This is where you consider the size of a place, the location, and the ability to house pets. Do they own or do they rent? It gets a bit risky in this instance.
My House, My Rules
If you are moving in with someone who owns their own place, there are some things you should know. They have a routine, a home routine. They aren’t used to having your dirty laundry mixed in with theirs or your soy milk inhabiting the fridge. You might like to wake up at 5am for Yoga Sundays at the foot of the bed and they might like late night hangs with their guests at home. Be aware of these things and open up that communication when considering living in someone else’s home. Love or not, this can be a deal breaker situation. I’ve seen many a relationship fall apart over spilt toothpaste and leaving just one slice of bread in the bag. Talk about everything from eating habits to cleaning routines to cultural routines (there must be rice in the house at all times!)
(Our) House
This scenario entails a relationship that is potentially in it to win it. You’ve been dating almost a year, and they had planned on buying a home. Are you to be buying with them or will they become your landlord? I’ve seen a few couples go through this—they are both renting, one has plans to buy, the other can’t buy. due to low credit or inconsistent job history. It can be sticky because it’s not just a committed relationship, but a committed financial and transactional relationship. Sure, you can hear the wedding bells in a far off distance, but you’re also still considering the “what ifs”.
To the person buying the house, I’m going to go with my mom’s advice—always be prepared for the worst case scenario. I’ve seen some pretty ugly breakups and there can be challenges depending on what type of agreement you have. This is also a conversation to be had, hard or not, you don’t want to a) get stuck with a mortgage you can’t possibly pay on your own, b) have an ugly court battle, or c) have to give up the house all together. Always have a contract between you. I know it’s not the most romantic endeavor, but it is one that will keep you and your heart safe. Look, I’m rooting for you here, but remember communication is key in every relationship, in addition to reality checks.
Crossing the Threshold
“The average cost of a wedding in 2021 was $28,000 (including the ceremony and reception), according to The Knot's 2021 Real Weddings Study.” - Nerdwallet
That’s more than a downpayment most times. I think this is solid advice, and coming from someone who paid $25K for their first wedding. If I had to go back, I would opt for owning a home. Couples just starting out, be smart—do you want to begin wedded bliss in debt or would you rather start building some equity together? Think about what a wedding means to you and whether having an extravagant affair trumps having your very own home. In addition, think of the money you will be saving for the possible wedding of your dreams. Put a ring on it and build for your future together.
Happily Ever After
No matter how you decide to cohabitate, the wisest advice I can give is to talk to each other about what living together will look like. Discuss everything from who will take the dog out to the tourettes you seem to get while sleeping. As I said, it is not easy living with someone you love, sometimes more difficult than family. Have plans, make cohabitation contracts, respect each other’s space, and love and be loved where you live. Happy Hunting!
Trekking Solo
Solo traveling can be fun, rewarding, and an exploration to a new place and yourself.
The month of February can be brutal for some. Some us who don’t wish to celebrate a Hallmark inspired holiday, glorifying how unloved we feel. So, from someone who has been through that, I would like to suggest falling in love—with a trip. I find traveling to be the remedy for heartbreak, like, go fall in love with a place not a person. The rewards will be better than any candlelit dinner or chocolates, I promise.
What I like about solo travel is that it opens you up to possibilities rather than adhere you to someone else’s itinerary or mood swings. Whether you choose to commune with nature or go for a foreign jaunt, traveling alone is liberating, rewarding, and gives you time to get to know yourself. Are you ready?
Pick a Destination. Make it fun, put all your bucket list destinations in a hat (mind you, just put those that fit your current budget), and choose!
Timing. Pick your date. Do you have to take time off of work? How long do you want to go for? Make sure you don’t have anything planned during that time like an upcoming wedding or shower.
Plan. Now that you have a destination, consider it’s locality. What are your necessities? How will you travel? Do you need inoculations or passports?
Book. Book your transportation, your lodgings, your restaurants, and any museums/events you plan on doing. This will save you standing in line or missing out on a wishlist item. AirBnB’s have been the best lodging experience I’ve had traveling unless you know someone where you are going. This allows you to get to know a neighborhood, meet someone local, and save money on food and lodging.
Research. Create a Google map and pin all the places you would like to see on your trip, even those you may not get to. Moods change. Make sure you see how walkable it is from your lodging or what the transportation options are (taxis, Ubers, trains, busses)
See Off-the-Beaten Path Stuff. Don’t be a tourist, check out some unconventional things and gain a new experience. Listen to the locals, talk with them, they always have cool suggestions.
Learn the Language. If you are traveling abroad learn a few phrases before going. DuoLingo is great for this. Things like, “Do you speak English?”, “Where is the bathroom?” “I’m lost, can you help me?”, and how to order food and drink are big ones. Most places, you will find English speakers, but ALWAYS be considerate to other people’s culture and language, that includes within the states (yes, Southerners and Yanks do things differently). We now have apps that can help you like Google translate.
Dressing. The biggest advice for packing is don’t pack too much. You’ll wear less than half the clothes you bring. Don’t forget these:
Mix-and-match ensembles will make your luggage lighter and give you the ability to buy something there if you wish.
A dress up look with shoes or a day-to-night look. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve been out all day and then I get invited to a dinner with no time to go back and dress.
Dudes, bring a dinner jacket (nothing says American like shorts and flip flops)
Don’t forget the bathing suit for hotel pools, rivers/lakes, and hot tubs.
Weather appropriate clothes.
A comfortable bag you can walk around with. I suggest cross body bags to deter any places with pickpockets.
Get Lost. If you are traveling in a city, take a day off and get lost. Sometimes not having a plan will help you discover real beauty or stumble across a treasure. DO NOT plan too many things in a day, give time for rests or just chilling.
Journal. Write about your travels, what you see, what you ate, who you met. I promise it is the most rewarding thing to go back years ahead and read about your experience. It is unique to you and others will be able to share in that experience.
Ladies. If you do travel solo, always be aware of your surroundings and know where you are. Once again do research. There is a great blog for you solo lady travelers called I Am AiLeen. Tell someone where you are going in case you are going a la “off grid”.
Check Your Vehicle. If you are traveling by car, make sure to get a checkup before you leave. Check the oil, tire pressure, bring a gas container, check your windshield wipers, and brakes.
Eat. Be adventurous. I hated olives until I went to Spain. Pickled herring is also not as bad as it sounds. Try all the local famous foodstuffs.
Do a Tour. I am not a fan of guided tours, but one which is customized to your interests or a smaller group is the way to go. You’ll learn a lot more from it. If you happen to go to Paris, I highly suggest paying the money to go on a tour with Art Journey, this isn’t your parent’s guided tour.
Go on a Date. Yeah, I said it. Get on that dating app and find someone who can give you a first hand tour of where you are, no-strings-attached. Be up front about it, have fun with it. You might make new friends!
Lastly, here are some essential items to bring on your trip:
Umbrella or Raincoat
Always bring a Jacket!
A First Aid Kit
Comfortable and Supportive Shoes
Medications (although they are cheaper outside the US)
Adapters if traveling outside the country
Wireless phone charger
The hardest thing for a lot of people is to do things by themselves, especially after a breakup. Traveling will allow you to do this easily because you are distracted by the sites and sounds of something new. Your date with a new destination will be your honeymoon for one and frankly, sometimes the best dates are about exploring a new canvas. Happy Travels!
Love You to Pieces
Furnishings that hold history or is a conversation piece can bring your home warmth and nostalgia.
As I child, I remember particular details of my home growing up—the green leather couch, the orange ashtray that my dad flicked his ashes in, the black leather bar, and large oval table that sat so many birthdays and family holiday meals. I can still remember the fur-like multi-colored rug that laid in my brother’s room, but nothing so memorable as the amount of times I brushed my tiny hands across my parent’s red velvet bedspread on their intricately wood carved bed.
My parents had this amazing bed set that had such great detail. Weirdly it reminded me of an old church with it’s three steepled design. It was a serious bedroom set, heavy and walnut. I cannot tell you how many times I’d run to their room, jump to lay on the bed just to watch my mom grab a purse from her armoire or to watch her dress for the day. My mom had impeccable style and LOTS of clothes and shoes (there may be a genetic connection here). I don’t know if it was the warmth of all the red that surrounded that room, but that bed brought me much comfort during a turbulent childhood. I remember I’d lie head at the foot to stare at the large wooden headboard while talking to my brother, listening to the rain on the metal pan my mom threw up on the roof so she could remember her home. Her childhood home in Panama was a metal roof in the jungle, and the sound of rain on it would calm her.
Fast forward to adulthood and I’m left with these nostalgic feelings, but have come up empty when thinking about my own furnishings. The only feeling I have is for the black Victorian framed mirror I got from my father. He gave it to me in my early twenties and it is the one piece i have held onto with each move. It has brought many a room together and it has brought me aesthetic joy, but it does not fulfill the comfort I felt from that wooden bed frame of my parents.
You may have a favorite chair or a favorite table. A piece that has history or sentimental value can make a house—a home. I love a good signature conversation starter. I had a friend who had a vintage toy chest she used as a coffee table. It had remnants of the original illustration on it. There wasn’t anything fancy about it, but every time I would visit her, I found myself investigating it with new findings of a carving or faded color I had not noticed before. My ex-in-laws were REALLY into mid century modern and there were two consecutive years of replica Wassily chairs given to us, but there was no comfort in them. It was the first thing people commented on, and although they have stayed with me through divorce and moves, they are so not the chairs you want to rest your weary bones in.
So, I’m wondering where my next beloved piece of furniture will materialize. I really want a good chair. I like a good chair I can cuddle up in and watch my stories from. Maybe even a modern recliner, one with a pocket for the remotes. Can you tell I’m getting to Senior status? I’m not hating on a good wingback recliner!
What’s your beloved piece currently? Is it decorative or is it functional? Is it one that has seen many places or is this a new piece? What makes it special to you? Feel free to comment below.
Establishing Trust
Being prepared for upcoming battles and establishing future plans.
I’m going to get a little personal here, but I think it’s good information for all those going through the same thing. Recently, a family member was diagnosed with dementia. This person is totally of sound mind right now, but we’ve run into some snags along this process. One being, they have only one child, and that child, as horrific as it may be, has decided that they want no part in their parent’s short or long term care leaving that responsibility to other members of the family.
This person is now dealing with a serious challenge(s) and it got me to thinking about how it will all resolve upon the worsening of their condition. They have no plan in place for one thing. This person is well into their 70s and with the assumption that their spawn would take care of them, is now left to their own devices. No will. No long term care plan. No real money to get them the help they might need once their faculties decline. So, now I think about my own parents, and myself for that matter. My parents are completely prepared for their final curtain calls, much to my guilt as their child. As I approach mid-century existence, it prompted me to yet again, read the fine print of adulthood, the next phase. I mean, who doesn’t want to take care of their moms and pops when they can’t do it themselves any longer? Isn’t it our responsibility as their children to take the reins on this and how many of us can feasibly do this? I save this for another discussion, back to it…
My family member is combatting the end of their independence which can be devastating, not to mention the denial aspect of the sickness to begin with. They sit on a 1500+ sq ft home on a double corner lot in a very desired school district. No power of attorney identified and no desire to leave their home. They are starting to have a hard time remembering where things are—ie. the deed to the house. The responsibility for their medical has been established, but what of their assets? It’s a legit concern and one I think about for not only my parents, but myself. It’s not always going to be us they choose.
Estate planning was never on my radar, but I have an Attorney friend who specializes in this type of law, and I was able to get some good tips about some simple ways to do this. Incidentally, when I thought about “estate”, it leads me to think of someone who has many assets or a wealthy state of being, but I’ve learned that this is not really the case most times. It’s about being prepared for the unexpected. The best thing to do is plan ahead and find a local attorney who can guide you through the process with ease to save you time, money, and familial emotional upheaval.
Here are the key points:
Establish a Living Trust. Wills aren’t always effective plans when distributing assets. It’s recommended to do a Living Trust, which basically means the beneficiaries you name in your living trust receive the trust property when you die and you can manage it while you are still living without the process of probate.
What is this probate you speak of? Probate is the official proving and recording of the will as the authentic and valid last will and testament of the deceased. It is time consuming, can be costly, and messy.
Establish a Fiduciary. This person can be a trusted family member. They will manage your assets and financials when you cannot. Make sure you put everything from the phone bill to your insurance on the list. Listing your assets and assigning them is also a good way to be prepared.
Establish Beneficiaries. These will be the individuals or the estate itself that will benefit from your assets. Be specific and everything from insurance policies to the dog should be assigned.
Establish Power of Attorney. This one is important, especially if you become unexpectedly incapacitated mentally. They will help you manage your financial and medical decisions when you cannot, but will also save a family member from an arduous process. If something unexpected happens to you and you, what are your wishes for your property? Sell, rent, pass along to a family member, etc.
Hire an Attorney who will guide you. Attorneys that specialize in this realm will help you save time and money. They will also help you establish your estate in a more private atmosphere.
For more information, feel free to check out some FREE information on Mr. Nance’s website, he has some good tips to follow.
Envisioning a Dream
I’m dreaming of a realized 2023 and am vision board ready!
Recently in one of our sales meetings, we discussed Vision Boards. This has been a foreign concept to me. Organizing one’s thoughts is a foreign concept to me. Incidentally, that evening I unconsciously watched “13 Going on 30”, and there it was again. You know that winning scene where Jennifer Garner materializes the BEST marketing presentation ever with her vision board campaign to win the day and save her beloved magazine? So, I got to thinking, it’s a new year, blank slate and all. Should I try? Hmm. Being a newish home owner, there are a slew of renovation dreams on the horizon, but of course I have other life aspirations I want to accomplish. Perhaps if I did take those elements of my dreams and make a visual wishlist of intended targets, they would eventually materialize and I can have my flash mob moment of successful realization?
I have a hard time practicing the laws of attraction. I like to wing it in the most chaotic of fashions, which like most things doesn’t last very long. I’m going to try something new and give this “vision board dream maker” a go. I think I have a lot of things on the horizon to make a reality. Maybe 2023 will be dreams realized and goals met, one inspirational quote at a time. What about yours? Feel free to share your own unrealized dreams. #VisionBoard23
Here a few of my 2023 Home Goals
There are a million, but this is manageable for now.
I want to start an Herb Garden (perhaps I won’t kill these)
Built-Ins around our fireplace
Adding a Pedestal Sink to the powder room
Creating an inviting and entertaining outdoor space
2023, RIC, and Me
A new beginning of RVA love…
Photo by: Jo Ann Breaux, Mural Walk | Downtown RVA
Welcome to 2023 y’all! I’m not a big resolution gal, but I am a “let’s improve on this” one. One of the things I’ve noticed is that people are not getting out. I think because Covid left us where we are, some of us are having a harder time, or perhaps an easier time enjoying the comforts of our homes. I get it, I definitely haven’t been as motivated to go out and when i do, I find myself in quite awkward verbal exchanges. I’ve never had that problem before. So, basically things have changed.
I’ve been thinking about that and how I want to improve my business, but also improve my relationship. No, not with my partner, but my relationship with my lover—RVA. The thing I’ve loved most about Covid, (can I say that?), is that I delved into exploring different areas around VA and I’ve decided I want to do more of that, but also do things around Richmond I’ve never done before. That’s the thing, isn’t it? I’ve known some people who’ve lived their entire lives in Richmond and don’t come Downtown or to the Fan even. So, I thought I’d share some RVAcentric things I want to do that I haven’t done in my 32 years in our lovely city. What will you do?
The Observation Deck
It’s temporarily closed but hopefully will reopen soon. I’d always heard about it but never been.
Virginia Museum of History and Culture
Yes, I know, insane I’ve never been here
Picnic at VMFA
I sometimes forget what a beautiful set this is for picnicking and journaling
The Veil and Nokoribi
My friends at Longoven and The Veil have created this amazing space for their new venture and I cannot wait to experience it!
Wheel Time at Clayground
I’ve never made anything pottery like in my life, so I want to create something in this medium!
Visit the ICA
I drive by it all the time, but never thought to actually go inside.
Some Bike Tour of RVA
Seems dumb for someone who has lived her to do a “tour” but I happen to think that this is a great opportunity to learn more about where I live and a great way to see the city on bike, in addition to photo ops.
I’ll probably be adding more to this list but I thought it would be a fun goal to look forward to in 2023. What are your plans?
Wait, What Day is it?
Has procrastination gift giving got you down? Stressed about the upcoming shopping marathon? Don’t worry, I’ve got a few things that will put some ease into your last minute shopping ideas and support RVA!
It gets harder and harder each year to make those last minute holiday gift ideas happen. I decided to share some of my local favorites to consider for your gift giving ideas that are unique, thoughtful and most of all support our local RVA businesses. Have a peek…
Coffee, Tea, and Libations
The most important part of waking up is some high octane coffee in your cup. Everyone drinks, but not everyone partakes or wants to partake in adult beverages so check these out.
Local Coffee Gift Boxes from Color Wheel Coffee or Blanchards. Both also have subscription services to consider as a nice stress free gift idea. Some people would rather drink tea while spilling the Tea and a really nice “group” gift to get is some time in the T-Caf tea room. If you are looking for something to satisfy those who decided 2023 will be a sobering experience, you can put a nice gift basket with elixirs, bitters, and flavorful N/A beer choices from Ceremony or Point 5.
Baked Goods
RVA has so many good bakeries, but I will say I have discovered some fantastic new local delectables. Who doesn’t love a sweet treat every once in a while? My favorites are all self-starter, female owned businesses who launched their brick and mortars after success during Covid. I cannot say enough about Ellyn Hopper’s Fat Rabbit. She’s innovative and creates absolutely delectable goods. Veteran, Author, and Women’s Advocate, Rebekah Lynn Pierce owns Maggie’s Cupcake Cafe. She makes the most yummy goodies that will remind you of grandma’s house on Sundays. Her pies are on point! She delivers the goods and does it with a smile! Lastly, hair stylist turned baker and badass Mom, Chastity Hise along with husband, Russell opened Pies and Cakes bringing the sweet and the savory. Who doesn’t love cake and pizza! All these are worth the order and who couldn’t use a little help during special occasions? It’s a sweet gift to give friends, co-workers, and clients!
Hair Joy
Look, getting your hair done is always a fun thing. Who doesn’t love going to get pampered and then looking fantastic after? You can’t go wrong with a gift certificate to their favorite barber or hair salon. I suggest the ladies over at Rooted Hair Company, Miss Kai Block is my favorite colorist in town! A fun cut for them from Carrie at Gorilla Hair Garage is a great way to give them a fresh look, she does great kid cuts too! Guys, going to the barber can be a good time for you too, get them a nice cut and shave from Barber Of Hell’s Bottom or Mike Blendz’s.
Sassy Sauce
Now I am privileged to know some amazing chefs in town and also people who just know good flavor when they taste and make it. A really great stocking stuffer or a gift that keeps on giving are my sauce guys, Justin Cropper of Espoleta RVA and SoSS owner Tommy Tyrell know how to bring the flavor with their signature hot sauces. They have both worked real hard to bring their condimental creations to the masses.
Artful Sentiments
RVA has the MOST talented artists. Why not give them something unique and special, made just for them? Katie McBride is one of my favorites and she does RVAcentric pieces. Alix Petrie’s pieces are fun to get lost in and will look good in any home. You can find some of her artwork now at Eric Schindler Gallery. Get them some session time with Mia Artz Photography. What a great gift to give to those wanting to capture a moment in time and for a real wow experience, check out Melody Smith Portrait Gift Vouchers. I cannot tell you how amazing they will feel or opt for a couples portrait and create an heirloom piece for your home and family. And lastly, Dave Moore has always been a favorite of mine and his dreamlike art will look fantastic in any office or home space.
Experiences
I love giving experiences to my giftees. From cooking lessons to jumping out of planes, gifts that create memories are always great. Consider giving them some time at the wheel at Clayground Studio, they can make their own gifts or just enjoy a fun time creating and learning. Music lessons from a menagerie of musicians in the city, including Bravo Music Academy. Dance lessons are always fun too! Gift Certificates are always available at most locations. The Salsa Guy can teach anyone how to shake those hips! Maybe look into the AirBnB experiences or if they are on the cosmic side of things, a natal chart or tarot reading is affordable and fun. Season tickets to The Richmond Kickers is a great way for them to hang out with the locals and cheer their team to victory! Concert tickets are always fun to get as well!
Not Sure?
Yes, sometimes it’s tough, but sometimes the simplest things are the best gifts. I love a GC for my favorite grocery store. Give them some luck by getting them a FREE Rewards Card to Rosie’s Gaming and a $20 credit. Check out local gift shops like Alma’s RVA and Brookland Park Flowers and Gifts or Mongrel in Carytown.
Obviously these are just a few suggestions for last minute gifts. The most important thing is that while thinking about giving gifts, think about gifting RVA with your support for the local businesses in our beautiful city. I’ve seen so many “CLOSED” signs around town, it breaks my heart. So, let’s support our own and help these small business stay around a lot longer. Good shopping to you and happy holidays!
Flying the Coop
Downsizing has many up sides, but is it right for you?
So your nest is empty, but is downsizing right for you? The kids just graduated from college and you are now looking at life from a different lens. It is a lot to think about getting rid of a home that holds memories and space that you’ve been accustomed to for some time, so where to begin and is it the right choice for you?
Manageability. Do you really need a 3,000 sq ft of home at this time? Maybe you want something that is lower maintenance that won’t require as many man hours to keep up, like the yard and the cleaning and the home improvements on an older home.
Location. Location. Location. I’ve recently noticed a lot of older individuals moving into more urban properties. Perhaps you’ve grown weary of your evolving neighborhood. Maybe there aren’t a lot of activities to do there and you are looking for more walkability. Location is important when you are wanting more out of your home.
Absent but not Absent Minded. You are finally ready to go on your own adventure and whether it is traveling the world or becoming the snow bird you’ve always dreamed of, selling your home could be part of that equation.
Cash Prize. Downsizing could be a smart move if it makes for a lower mortgage payment. Extra cash means extra fun for you or pragmatically, strategize your long term care plan. It can also reduce utility bills and reduce unnecessary clutter.
Help Out the Youth. With inventory as low as it has been, buyers are eager to snatch up real estate as though it was the last roll of toilet paper during Covid times. Consider the ease of selling.
It Ain’t Just for the Old. Anytime anyone mentions downsizing, the image of an elderly couple waving goodbye to their children conjures, but honestly you may be downsizing for a variety of reasons including divorce, financial distress, or a change in lifestyle.
I Can Drive at 55. 55 is not an age I consider old, especially since I’m so close to it. Downsizing to a 55+ community could be an opportunity to make new friends, have some nice amenities, lower maintenance, and enjoy lower costs.
There are many reasons for downsizing and depending on where you are in your life will determine if this is the best option for you. It is time for you to dream and think of all the possibilities of not being tied down to something you may have needed out of necessity. I’m always here to help and ease the transition.
Gratifyingly RVA
A thank you to RVA
All Photos by: Jo Ann Breaux
RVA Proper
Since this is the month of Gratitude I wanted to express mine for RVA. I’m grateful for many things in my life and not ones I need to share on this particular month, but I thought I would point out all the things about RVA I am grateful for, so let’s slap those hands together and give thanks:
RVA, I am grateful to you for…
Our Natural Habitat. I love our topography here. From hills, to parks, to the Mighty James, we are truly blessed to have such beautiful scenery.
Our Restaurants. Sure, we have fantastic food, but the culture that was created here through the restaurant scene has been memorable and delightful.
Our Artists. I love how RVA fosters our art scene. Whether it’s the murals, VCU’s art program, or our tattooists, RVA is great at showcasing its artists. Ed Trask you are a pioneer! I enjoy doing First Fridays and I find solace in our galleries and museums.
Our Musicians. I am so grateful for RVA’s music scene. You have provided me with a lifetime of great shows and I couldn’t be more thankful. Thanks for Avail, Lamb of God, Gwar, Chance Fischer, Bio Ritmo, that Lucy Dacus chick, and so many more. I however am not grateful for the lack of venues we have for live music.
Our Neighbors. I truly feel like RVA is a place that really pulls together to help others in their time of need. From our activists, to our non-profits, to our places of worship, our neighbors help our communities thrive and that’s a beautiful thing to see.
Our Location. So grateful that we are so close to beaches, mountains, and major cities. There are so many great things to do a stone’s throw away.
Our Kevin Bacon. RVA has an uncanny ability to have usually less than 6 degrees of separation from it’s denizens. There is a vast amount of generational “…by proxy” here and it does feel nice to meet new people to discover they know your old people.
Our Outdoor Recreation. From Capital Trail to a short trip to King’s Dominion to fishing on the James to our many hiking/walking trails, RVA caters to all walks, jogs, and cycles.
Our Fans. I love our sports teams, but I love the support of the fans the most. It really is great being in a local stadium hearing RVA roar with cheers for their teams.
Our Local Business. We have such amazing business owners who provide unique experiences and wares. I love that you can get taxidermy, custom boots, and a hand sculpted planter all in one day, and top it with a stop at a local distillery while eating a locally made ice cream sandwich.
I am grateful we live in the smallest big city that has provided me with some really remarkable moments.
We are grateful to RVA for…
I asked my friends if they could be grateful to RVA for one thing, what would it be. Turns out it was harder to say just ONE thing.
“The lifelong friendships I have made through the decades have been significant in RVA. The music and art scenes have impacted my life greatly. The architecture, the parks, the river, and the hidden gems for me as well. I just contradicted my “one thing” rule.”
“GWAR”
“Friends”
“Friendsmusicbeer. One thing.”
“The River and Bernie’s Subs”
“It’s ideal. The most ideal place I’ve lived. A perfect combo of diverse friends, creativity, food, family, art, music, history (and a reconciliation of its past), lovely architecture, medium sized charm, great parks, chill vibe, beer, bikability, walkability and decent/tolerable weather most of the year.”
“Maymont Park. I really think that having a 100 acre rolling park in the middle of the city is the most beautiful and wonderful thing. You can go there and sit on a blanket for eight hours and no one cares.”
“My first visit to Richmond was as a Junior in High School, I participated in the VMFA’s 3 days in March program that brought HS art students from across the state to Richmond for a 3 day event. To this day I love the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts and visit often. This summer my daughter took a couple classes at VisArts and I’d hang out at the VMFA. Read until they opened and then wander the halls.”
“Good honest down to earth friends and the most hard working colleagues I’ve ever worked with 🙏🏽💃🏻
And of course the southern charm”
“Hollywood Cemetery where my parents are inurned.”
“Friendships”
“Friends”
“My friends.”
“Family, Friends, Food, Music, Art, & More!”
“Friends & Music…”
“Friends. The amazing outdoor places- the River, Maymont, etc.”
“College education. Tough because life long friends is important too.”
“A pretty tight/strong alternative scene.”
“Meeting my best friends there.”
“Just one? I can think of several. I love RVA!”
“Amazing, lifelong friends!”
“Very little traffic”
“That the James Runs through it!”
“For always feeling like Home, no matter how long it’s been.”
“Meeting my best friends there.”
“What a great foody town it’s become.”
“The river.”
“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, “the James river and the trails that surrounds it, are indeed magical!”
“The James River.”
“Beautiful Park System and lovely architecture in spots.”
“My kids”
“Too many to list. So let’s complain instead. I miss the sketchy Richmond of my youth a fair bit.”
Set the Table
Gather round! Dining rooms are great spaces for conversation and breaking bread…
Do you have a dining room and do you use it?
“We have more of an eat in kitchen - no formal dining room. We have never needed one. What is supposed to be our dining room is an office.”
“Yes we do. It looks very pretty holding my mail. We use it in cold weather when our family comes over for dinner. Not as often as I’d like.”
“All the time. (Until someone in my house took it over as her COVID-era work from home space!)”
“Yes, to date, once every 3 years … rethinking to make more of a flex space.”
“E: Yes and never
C: Oh you mean our craft palace catch all?”
“We don’t have a dining room, but do have a dining table separated from the rest of the kitchen by an island. We eat there several times per week.”
In my research of friends, it seems the dining room does exist, but is rarely used for nothing more than a holiday or extended family gathering. I think a lot of my people have eat-in kitchens or a dining table which extends, and is near the kitchen. Formal dining rooms seem to be a bit dated for most people, but I personally love them. I prefer to keep stove and plate separated. I think it also depends on what mealtime means to me as a concept. Do families still eat together? Do people still invite friends over for dinners rather than just cookouts and potlucks?
Growing up, the dinner table meant eating all your vegetables, doing all your homework, and having “serious” talks. This was very different than the dinner table at my Uncle’s house which consisted of a cloud of smoke resting upon anywhere from 5-12 family members playing cards, drinking and laughing hysterically. A dinner table that was a peninsula for biscuits and boudin on a Sunday morning after church, a meetup of cousins for late night cereal encounters, and countless holiday gumbos, fried turkeys, collards, and jumbaylas. It is the place of fond memories and heritage that defined my childhood. I think a lot of people associate the dinner table with tradition, but what does this room mean for the modern family?
Our dining rooms have now become transitional due to the pandemic. Dining rooms became workspaces, homeschool desks, and craft work areas, giving way to home offices becoming one of the most sought after rooms in buying a home. It also forced families to be around each other all the time and without some sort of room division, I can only presume, a formal dining room with pocket or French doors—a makeshift escape.
I guess I’m calling for a dining room comeback! I enjoy entertaining and cooking for people and having a meal presented, but mostly I enjoy a room where I can actually practice the art of conversation while enjoying the intimacy of breaking bread with family and friends. You know, caring and sharing over fork and knife. Perhaps I’m just old fashioned, but I do love showing an older home that has a formal dining room. I agree with my lady, Home Stylist, Ginny Sawatzky— “I’ve seen many unused dining rooms and have lots of reimagined ideas for those spaces.”
Decorating a dining or eating area doesn’t have to be a utilitarian task, you can have a room that is fun, elegant, or artfully themed. Whether it’s playing around with wainscoting, adding coffered ceilings, or experimenting with paint colors or wallpaper, by all means—go fork and dine!
le dining room
French inspired dining rooms could go one of two ways—the grand and detailed style fit for the Sun King himself, or opt for the simpler and cozier French countryside where the whisper of Lavender and the open air preside.
We’ll have a glam old time
I adore a glammed up room. I love the jewel tones and the lush textiles. Art deco decor mixed with that Hollywood feel makes for a great dining space with lots of dinner table good times.
@swoonworthyblog
for forks sake
Vintage Industrial is a fave of mine. Bold, but not cold, you can create a dining space that introduces a sexy elegance fit for sophisticated candlelit dinners or a dining room that will endure years of kidability and has that “restaurant” vibe.
sitta for a spell
Sometimes a darker Scandi look can be compared to the Modern Industrial look. I like my Nordic flare to have some attitude. Minimal, but not without statement, this style conjures transformative vibes and beautiful design.
Buy it on Amazon
For more dining decor ideas:
Any Way You Slice It
No matter how you slice it, we will be celebrating #NationalPizzaMonth with these local pizza joints!
Photo by: Jo Ann L Breaux | Crozet Pizza
Having lived in New York for some time, you really do get to know your pie joints. There’s the I’m going to wait in line for an hour or two place and there’s the it’s 3am, my heels are killing me, I’m drunk and I just want a slice. One of my favorite images in Williamsburg, NY was watching the late night crowd sit on the curb and devour their piping hot slices from Anna Maria’s on Bedford.
A good slice should entail the following:
Handheld Capability
Fresh Ingredients, no I do not think Pineapple belongs on pizza. Canada, we love you, but you really messed this up.
A Solid Sauce, not too sweet and not too salty
A Perfect Crust, maybe a little char on there, but definitely omitting any cardboard like quality
Cheese, for the love of all that is holy, cheese but create ribbons of melty goodness from the pie to your mouth
We here in RVA have an abundance of pizza joints worth checking out and to satisfy all tastes, from Chicago to NY style, we’ve got it! So thank you Italy for taking the Chinese invention and bringing it to what it is today—the most perfect food on Earth. To celebrate #NationalPizzaMonth, I give you my faves in the city and yes, I know there are more to mention, but these are my most frequently and loved in the city.
The Hills Have It
I have dreams of Mama Zu. I miss ordering white pizza there. I miss the grit and the overwhelming smell of garlic. I can’t think about it too much or else I will begin shedding tears over the loss of my favorite culinary delight in Richmond. Thank goodness for the Italians of RVA who created these pies of delights.
8 1/2 | The Fan | Church Hill
My hands down favorite pie in RVA. The fresh ingredients alone tantalizes the taste buds. I love grabbing this za and sitting in Scuffletown Park wolfing it down.
Dinamo | Oregon Hill
The former Mama Zu’s sweet lil cousin site, it’s no surprise they have knock your socks off pizza. Fresh and perfect and enjoyed in a quaint and warm environment.
Galley Kitchen | Stratford Hills
Not of the Mama Zu family, but of another established RVA restaurant family, Galley has some of the best pizzas I’ve ever experienced. Thanks to the talents of Giustino Riccio for bringing his masterpiece pizzas to the neighborhood diner. The Fennel and Sausage is a must have!
Pizza and Beer Have No Fear
Nothing makes a greater combo than beer and pizza and I have these places I enjoy for this.
The Hop Craft Pizza and Beer | The Fan
I love the pizza here and it’s just a bonus that they have a craft brew market adjoined to the dining area. Try the Pickleback, so good! Unique options and if you’re not feeling pizza, get their meatballs to go and add it to your favorite pasta.
PBR | The Fan | Mechanicsville
I like this place for its Fan location for the patio and to be honest the pizza is pretty solid. Sometimes I get tired of the whole “personal” pizza schtick, but if you are with a group, this place is fantastic.
Triple Crossing Beer | Fulton
I think sometimes simple is best. A good woodfire pizza at a brewery is a perfectly simplistic and go to combo. I love their pizzas a lot.
The Only Living Pizza (s) in RVA
I love New York Style pizza and it has to be foldable goodness where you need extra napkins to soak up the puddles of grease collected.
Jo-Jo’s Pizza | Downtown | Midlothian
How could I not love a pizza joint with my name? This is where I go when I’m craving The City. Their lunch special is where it’s at: 2 slices and one bevvy for about $10 (I remember when it was $6). Midlo location is open til 9pm and downtown is unfortunately just until 3pm. I love how they operate like in new york, even implementing the “NEXT!” prompt. A pizza worth a NY attitude.
Zorch Pizza | Carytown
Food truck turned brick and mortar, Zorch satisfies the New York pizza yearnings, but also tantalises your tastebuds. Fresh ingredients and Vegan pies are available!
Benny Ventano’s | The Fan
One slice will do ya, but if you are feeding an army, one pie could do the same at Benny’s. 28” of slathery goodness.
The Late Night
I don’t know about you, but there is nothing worse than having a night on the town with your friends and then the immense hunger portion of the night hits you like a ton of bricks. It’s hard enough finding food after 10 here, but finding the perfect slice won’t be as challenging.
Patrick Henry Pub & Grill | Church Hill
While you are waiting for James to make you a drink, order a thin crust personal pizza here. It’s an unsuspecting spot to enjoy a pie, but it is actually incredibly good and satisfying.
The Veteran
Mary Angela’s | Carytown
Institution, Mary Angela’s comforts me with futbol and New York style pizza and is reminiscent of my college years at VCU.
The Comfort Za
You have those days that are just lazy. You want to binge on stream and not get out of those jammies type of day? These are my go to convenient and easy spots.
Christian’s | The Fan | West End
if you can deal with the starving VCU students at the Fan location, you will get a pizza that is very tasty. Only comes in one size but you can bet they’ll be leftovers for a day or two. I love this place for the convenience, slices, and overall goodness.
Belmont Pizza | The Fan
Belmont has been a consistently great place to get a pie, nothing fancy, just simplistic delivery/pickup goodness.
To Top It Off!
A pizza is only as good as its ingredients.
Hot for Pizza | Carver
I would not expect anything less from the boys at Cobra Cabana, the novelty alone is reason to delve into this pie heaven. If you are looking for unique pizzas with flare or some great Vegan options, this is the spot. The variety of toppings and crust is enticing, my only complaint is—$6 toppings are a bit much.
A Day in the Slice
Crozet Pizza | Crozet, VA
One of my favorite things to do in the Fall is go apple picking at Chiles Peach Orchard and Farm Market in Crozet, VA. We then go over to Starr Hill and have some brews and finally we go to the best pizza spot, Crozet Pizza. I cannot say enough great things about this place. The pizza is consistently knockout good and the service is excellent. It is the perfect end to a perfect day in Crozet. Sure, you have to travel an hour and fifteen, but man is it worth the experience.
What’s Your Favorite Slice?
Season of the Witch
You don’t have to be afraid of the dark when decorating a moody and edgier theme. Check out these ideas that will create an enticing and unique living space for you and your guests without all the toil and trouble.
As a Realtor®, I get real tired of cookie cutter staging and bright open floor planned rooms. Don’t get me wrong, I like this look, but y’all I get bored easily. Wtichcore, Fairytalecore, Dark Academia, Naturecore—whatever trendy name they come up with basically encompasses a more whimsical, darker aesthetic. I like to call it #MystiqueCore. These days you can admire “gothic” or “darker” themes without it entailing the donning of vampire teeth and cheesy coffin beds. Gothic decor has become more refined and more celebratory of the natural elements, adding plants and an apothecary vibe to the mix. Here's some prime examples of how to make your home a little more witchy and a little less kitschy.
The thing to know about this type of home aesthetic is that this is not for minimalists at heart. You’ll be creating a curated museum type feel that will include the one if not all of the following themes and elements:
Cottagecore/Fairytalecore
Moody Scandinavian
Alchemy
Astrology
Whimsical
Dark Academia
Victorian
Steampunk
We’re talking terrariums, birdcages, mirrors—lots and lots of mirrors, oval frames, vintage botanical art, antique bottles, and muted, dark colors. I’m not saying you have to paint your entire house black, but accent walls that fall into the earthy blue, black, blood red, or Slytherin green works very well. Bone accents like drawer pulls, hung dried flowers/herbs, velvet and lush fabrics, and leather are also ways to give this an elevated and elegant look. Check out some of these cool ideas when deciding to come to the dark side and remember, you are allowed to have themed rooms in your home, we prefer cohesive but good witch to bad can create a dramatic transition throughout your home.
Photo by: Jo Ann Breaux, The Corbeau Collective
Toil and Trouble
Don’t worry, your guests are safe. Dried herbs, plants, natural oils in an apothecary-like setting will create a healing environment for you and your guests. Plants also add a nice pop of color, creating natural contrasts and life within your rooms.
Photo by: Jo Ann Breaux, The Corbeau Collective
Bring out the Dead
Taxidermy is a big one when trying to design in this theme. I’m not talking about that Elk you caught in the Fall of ‘06. I am talking about taxidermy that includes nicely curated animal skeletons in terrariums, framed bats, or beautifully pinned insects. There is beauty in death and you can decorate any room elegantly using this type of decorative motif.
Photo by Tuva Mathilde Løland on Unsplash
The Fairest of them All
For the love of Goth, it’s a lot of ornate mirrors. You can find a lot of these in Estate or thrift stores. Paint them black or paint them gold, either way, you’ll be the fairest in your domain.
Photo by: Jo Ann Breaux, The Corbeau Collective
Light the Night
Candelabras, Sconces, chandeliers, and lots of candles will light your way through the darkness. Spray adhesive lace around your votive holders to give a more elegant feel. You can even go with your favorite coven-mates and make your own special candles!
Curio cabinets with oddities and scavenged finds is perfect for any presentation. Remember not to get too Halloweeny, but do add elements that are going to work nicely with your furnishings and trims. Having a wall of mirrors or artwork has to look intentional. Do shop Estate sales for beautifully affordable antiques. Do paint furnishings blacks and play around with textures—matte vs glossy. Do play with color. All black gets dull, add some reds, yellows, greens in the mix. Stay away from kitschy decor, save that for the actual holiday.
I love this theme that creates comfortable, lush, and dramatic living space. Not everyone loves the light and you can just as well find beauty and classic feels in the dark as well. Happy conjuring!
For more edgy ideas, visit my Pinterest!
Interested in finding a cottage-like or Victorian home? Virginia has a few! Contact me and let’s get you home.
National Lender Professionals Month: Proving Your Worth
Finding a good lender and understanding how that process works can be overwhelming and scary, but I’ve broken it down in 8 easy steps to guide you home!
I am not a numbers gal. I was really bad at Math—surprisingly good at Algebra though, go figure. Anyway, when people mention numbers to me, my eyes kinda glass over and I start thinking about donuts. I know you are so excited about buying a home. You’ve got your showing shoes on and your vision board in tow, but honestly the first thing you should do before even contacting an agent is finding out what your budget is going to be. Why? Well it saves both you and I time. I cannot tell you how many clients I’ve shown $400K homes to, but they could only afford at $300K house. A lender will also give you the foresight to see what those monthly payments are going to look like. So if you are making a $1,200 monthly rental payment and that’s your max, then you definitely don’t want to look at homes that will give you a $2,300 monthly payment.
Finding a good mortgage lender is more than just finding the one with the best mortgage rate. A good mortgage lender will:
Explain things clearly and will assess your financial abilities to purchase a home
They will provide you with options for different mortgages that will suit your needs
They will be responsive in their process
They will be good teammates with your Agent. If you are already working or know your Agent, they will usually have a good referral
They will be a good fit for you. You have to work closely and also be tr
Mortgages, Taxes. Insurance. All these things are tied into your loan and a lender can explain how all this works out financially. And let’s be honest here, this is a big life changing investment, you don’t want just anyone handling your loan approval. When I got into this business, I had several clients ask me questions about the listing and buying process—easy peasy, but then when buyers ask about the loan process, that was a little more challenging on my end. Here’s a little help:
To Download, Click Infographic
If you are thinking about buying a home, the best point of action is to start planning. Talk to a lender today and call me when you’re ready! Let’s do this!
The Schizzo Market
To be a recession or not to be…that is the question of the hour.
I was scratching my head thinking about what I was going to write about this month. So many of my clients, friends, and acquaintances ask me about the market. Currently the market is an unpredictable schizophrenic and truth be told, I’ve always known it as being highly competitive, multiple offer situations, and disheartened buyers walking way in tears because $100K over is too rich for their blood—and mine.
We’ve had this very strong, very long lasting market, but as with all things, change is inevitable. We are seeing drastic dives in home sales, the 24 hour sale is becoming a little sluggish, and the question of are or aren’t we in a recession is prevalent. It’s all connected, from the war in Ukraine to the record high eviction rates to the pandemic, we’re now playing tug of war.
Housing prices aren’t lowering that’s for sure and demand is still up there. Inventory is getting a little better, as we are seeing more listings pop up. Yes, folks, those Realtor letters filling your mailbox is no mistake. It’s an ideal situation for all those moving out of RVA or downsizing, but you first timers are feeling the sting of your outbidded tears still.
The best advice I can give to any first time home buyer is patience. If you can’t buy right, open up a savings account and stick it all in there and continue to build those funds because this won’t last forever and interest rates will lower again. What I find helpful in these times is to talk to lenders. The money people have great ways to guide and also give great information on what’s happening on their end.
Two of my most recommended lenders are Mark Horton and Octavio Wilson. Mark knows his stuff and is very good about informing clients and Octavio is equally as good, but with my Spanish speakers. Mark has a podcast that is proving to be quite informational and also a way to ask questions without the commitment of sitting in an office when you are unsure about what you are doing. Check out his videos and feel free to reach out to him or my other preferred lender, Olivia Smith and plan, plan, plan. Then come talk to me and I’ll do the rest!
Check out and subscribe to Mark’s podcast:
In the Dog House
It’s a doggy dog world out there, but I’m celebrating National Dog month sniffing out some great canine friendly home ideas.
Dog people are a distinct breed. They love their canine companions hard and I do believe that people with dogs consider them to be an actual member of the family. I’ve actually seen people treat their furbabies better than their partners! I love dogs, but I do not have one. So until my future “Rook” comes to live with us, I have to start thinking of how to incorporate its space in our home.
Dogs are also high maintenance and I plan on having a large dog. There are two things that I know I don’t want in my cohabitation — dog hair everywhere and a crate awaiting a stubbed toe. I think it is a smart idea to have a separate space for your furry friends, especially when you are training them. I say this, but as soon as I get a dog that beast is going to be my bedtime cuddle buddy!
Creating space for you and the kids is one thing, but creating space for your dogs can be challenging, especially if you have more than one or other animals. I have found some great DIY ideas that will accommodate this and also help keep your home clean.
Crate Space
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve stubbed my toe on a dog crate or how much it takes from the size of a room. There is a solution! Find a spot in the house that is quiet and comfortable for them while they spend time in doggy jail.
There’s No Place Like Home
Finding or creating a dog room in your home can be challenging. Space is key. Laundry and mudrooms are ideal spots for Spot, but being creative can be fun too. Here are some fantastic indoor dog rooms for your best buddy.
Time to Chow Chow Down
You can have these custom built into your islands or kitchen cabinetry or you can have a reserved space for them to chow down.
![15c7e6437603da4edaa9cd01df0018bb_thumb[1].jpeg](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e0e7bd4b29235670b07f7a2/1658926887935-KNPF6ZM3LHS73L29NS8F/15c7e6437603da4edaa9cd01df0018bb_thumb%5B1%5D.jpeg)
Red Rover Come on Over
You have dogs. Your friends have dogs. Your dogs want to play with those dogs. Having a nice outdoor space is great for dogs to be able to get their energy spent and give you some time to relax. Think about fencing you and your guests in and giving the dogs freedom to roam. Consider side yards and small designated spaces for them to enjoy the fresh air.
Fetch Fido!
People that love their dogs, love buying toys for their dogs Dogs have a lot of accessories, from leashes to collars to, sometimes, fancy transport, I’m talking to you Yorkie fans out there. You want a great way to store those things? Have a look at these ideas.
So Groomy!
Grooming your furry loved one can get pricey, but you can convert a great area in your home for in-house grooming. Once again laundry and mudrooms are the best spots for creating this space.
For more fun dog friendly home ideas, click below.
Roman the Yard
Capitol Opera presents “The Coronation of Poppea” featuring RVA Baroque and The Latin Ballet of Virginia.
Photos by: Jo Ann Breaux
Hosts Melissa Burgess displays her beautiful artworks
Part of what is amazing about the city we live in is its cultural arts. It’s been difficult getting back into the swing of things post pandemic isolation, but I’m determined to continue to showcase all that RVA has to offer and Saturday night was no exception.
As Marketing Director for The Latin Ballet of Virginia, I have a vision to integrate culture, community, and education into our home here. As a Realtor®, I want to be able to show clients how they can invest not only in their homes, but can also add to the growth and identity of neighborhoods and communities throughout Richmond. So what does all this have to do with Romans? Well I’ll tell you…
Melissa Burgess and husband, Geoff have a lovely home in the Southside of RVA and were very gracious in opening up their backyard to Capitol Opera’s presentation of “The Coronation of Poppea”, an Italian opera by Claudio Monteverdi telling the story of Emperor Nero and his mistress Poppea and her rise to collect the throne to become Empress of Rome. Capitol Opera, along with RVA Baroque, a musical ensemble specializing in historical instruments and techniques, and The Latin Ballet of Virginia collaborated and presented an enchanting evening of art, music, dancing and singing.
It is always amazing when you can bring neighbors or a community together to share in something special. Melissa Burgess showcased her beautiful paintings around the yard and fifty lucky audience members became enraptured with the telling of this historically driven piece. It was made even more endearing watching a neighbor set up camp in front of her window while she ate her dinner and enjoyed the show. The evening was full of serendipity and I was honored to be able to capture some moments of four very talented entities. Some of the best moments are unexpected, but discovering something new in the town you live in is magical. Catch Capitol Opera’s last two performances on July 22nd and 24th and for more information on how you can help these organizations thrive and enchant other audiences, click below.
Essential Dad Tips
Being a single dad can be overwhelming, but here are few tips that could help while you balance out the transition.
Dan and Morella Shebaylo at Forest Hill Park
Photo by: Jo Ann Breaux
A Few Single Dad Tips
Some dads are super hands on while others have let their significant others take that role. As a single dad, you no longer have them to handle the day to day. Being prepared for visitation will show them you got this, and ensure your kids have not one, but two great homes!
Learn to cook food that doesn’t come from a can
Don’t talk bad about your former partner in front of them
Always have a first aid kit, medications, ie. allergy, aspirin, tylenol on hand
Bandaids in bulk!
Always have a surplus of diapers if needed
Make sure a list of all emergency numbers are on the fridge or easily found (this is for you and the kids)
Make sure your fire alarms are working properly
Make sure they have clothes that fit them properly that include dress clothes and dress shoes
If you’ve got a teenage daughter make sure she has the essential feminine products as well as her favorite makeup
Make sure there is space for both you and your kids. Most single dads get apartments after the split, you want enough space where they can be comfortable and feel safe.
Get some games, books, puzzles, video games for the house
Always have some sort of plans on the weekends, this will save valuable time and also create some balance with their playtime vs yours
Remember, your house, your rules. You and your ex will have different ones so establish that with your kids so there’s no confusion.
Don’t introduce them to a new mate right away, give it a minute to see if you like them first (3-5 months is suggested)
Plenty of snacks!
Find kids their age in the neighborhood you’re living in or make playdates with schoolmates
Get a seasons pass to an amusement park, a museum, season tickets to ball games, swimming pools, etc.
Make sure they do their homework and that you are also a primary contact with the school. I’ve seen a lot of single dads miss their kid’s events because they weren’t informed
Co-Parent, civilly and patiently. For some this is difficult, but one solid conversation with your ex where you establish that you are going to be there as their father and that you should work together and communicate effectively in raising your kids.
Keep “daddy’s things” locked up
Don’t forget the bedtime stories
Spend time with them and have fun, that’s all they really want
I’m sure I’m missing some stuff here, but feel free to add some in the comments section!
Celebrating National Camp Month in Virginia
Celebrating National Camping Month
I’m a glamper. I’m not embarrassed. I like being able to use a bathroom with a door and avoid spiders in my hair, but I do love the fresh air and beautiful outdoor terrain of our lovely Virginia. Whether you are looking for a mountain climb or the serenity of a babbling brook, I’ve got you and your pets covered.
Check out these cool finds:
Yertastiic
It’s not necessarily roughing it, but you can enjoy a getaway weekend at Why be Square?! Blue Ridge Yurt in Floyd, VA near Claytor Lake State Park, Fairy Stone State Park. You and up to 8 guests can enjoy Biking, Hiking, and watching Wildlife.
Farm Animal Fun
Love animals and a working farm? Then Historic Hobby Farm is the place for you! 125 acres with three tent sites and 1 lodging site, this place will have you cuddling goats and eating fresh eggs on site!
Let’s Commune
This 20 acre horse farm in Afton, VA will make you breathe in and breathe out with relaxation. Galleywinter Farm boasts a multitude of terrain including Forest and Mountainous areas. We ride at sunset!
Camping on the Bay
Blackwater Creek has 10 tent/RV sites for your coastal pleasure. Enjoy Biking, Boating, Fishing, Hiking, Paddling, Swimming, Wildlife watching while taking in breathtaking sunsets.
Through the Woods and Down the Creek
I have personally stayed at The Meadows at Chigger Creek and have nothing but good things to say about it. There are two sites to choose from with friendly hosts and a creek full of fish. A great place to “rough it” for the first time.
For more great campsites in Virginia, visit HipCamp and start your adventure today!
Only In My Dreams
We all dream of cool features in our home. What are some desirables homebuyers are looking for these days?
Laundry/Utility Room with Dog Washing Station (Yes, Please)
We all have dreams. I’ve been dreaming of my dream house before Barbie had hers! When I show houses, I find it interesting what people find to be desirable features. There are times when the lack of these coveted components will make or break a sale. I once had a buyer who refused to look at any homes where the bedroom was near any of her children’s rooms and one client really wanted a dumbwaiter. I personally would love a home with a library, but hey, I’m still dreaming.
Everyone has different tastes, but trends in buying change either from demographic to demographic or what HGTV tells them it is. So I decided to do some research in finding what buyers find the most yearned for features in a home currently. I also asked my Facebook friends out of curiosity!
A Room for an Office
Thanks Covid! As most of us have jobs and bosses who realize working from home is just, if not more productive. This has become a very desired amenity.
Eco-Friendly
83% of Buyers Want ENERGY STAR-rated Windows. Climate change is finally becoming trendy! Seriously though, clients are starting to ask for these type of eco-friendly features. From solar panels to energy efficient lighting to garden areas, homes built for saving the planet will soon become permanent fixtures.
Hardwood Floors
This still ranks pretty high on the list. More than 80% of buyers want hardwoods and I have literally had clients run at the sight of carpet. If you are selling and there are hardwoods underneath, get ready to rip some carpet out.
Hidden Appliance Storage (I need this in my life) - Houzz
Granite, Quartz, and Marble
Buyers want these materials in their kitchen and prefer countertops that will last and not stain.
The Downstairs Main Bedroom Suite
I’m finding more buyer are looking for this desired trait and I’m finding newer homes that has implemented this or the downstairs full bath. Transitional home buying, people want to think of their forever homes as fitting their growing needs.
No Sweat! A Home Sauna - Realtor.com
Laundry
Everyone wants a laundry room or a dedicated area for laundry. Whether people want up or down, I’m not able to say for sure. I can tell you that I prefer up. I don’t want to have to carry loads of laundry upstairs!
Outdoor Living Spaces
This one can also be attributed to our friend Covid. People really want patios and wrap arounds to hang out on and having outdoor lighting to enhance the experience.
Open Floor Plans
People are still loving this. Being in all the places at once seems to continue to be a solid want for buyers.
More Storage Areas
Renovated Kitchens and Bathrooms
They want it! The two most sellable rooms in a house.
Storage in General
Walk-in closets, garages/sheds/workshops, pantries, and shelving are all winners. People want to be able to not see their stuff!
Pot fillers are becoming quite popular and double basin sinks are ranking up there as well. An honorable mention to powder rooms and built-ins. Sellers, if you plan on listing your home, keep these in mind as they can increase the value of your home.
Here’s what my FB Family said they wanted in the home:
Zero lawn. None. No weeding, no trimming, no mowing, nothing. Just a door I walk into that has my stuff inside it. Like the house in Gretel and Hansel. Or the one at the end of Contempt. - Nathan T.
An Outdoor Bathroom
More Storage
Low Maintenance
High Ceilings
Bigger Kitchens
Acreage
Vaulted / Coffered Ceiling
Some Character
Hardwoods Throughout
Pot Filler
Butler’s Pantry
Sauna
Secret Room (ding ding)
Cast Iron Tub
Light, light and more natural light!
Finished Attic/Basement
Pools
Fireplaces
Sun Rooms
More kitchen counter space
A Proper Mudroom
A Laundry Chute
Patio/Covered Outdoor Area
Smart Flow Kitchen
Coffee Bar Area
“A GARAGE.”
At Home with Dad
Happy Father’s Day! Check out these cool tips and ideas for starting over again in a space you and your kids will enjoy.
This one is going out to all the single Dads out there. Starting over is never easy for anyone, but most single dads are also creating new living spaces to balance out being single again as well as accommodating those weekly visits with the kids. We’ve gotten pretty used to seeing inviting decor from women with a room for the dudes, ie. the basement game lounge or the garage tinker zone, but what are we seeing in their new solo environments?
Lucifer (Fox)
From musician to geeky to sporty, dads run the gambit. Guys tend to have more monochrome color schemes and sharper edges. Creating your dad space can be fun and you can still create an inviting space for your guests and your offspring. Here are a few ideas for those special dads:
Chordially Invited
Musician Dads, I know a ton of them. Guitar strings strewn about and maybe a buried drumstick in the couch, you can show your love of music while harmoniously classing it up.
Hanging musical instruments nicely on a wall (NOT ALL Walls)
Add some framed art by displaying your fave artists or instruments
Frame your band posters/flyers
Use non functioning instruments as shelving alternatives
Add a record listening station
Create a music room so you and the kids can have “rehearsal”
Use warm tones and relaxed furniture
Create microphone lamps
Mid-century modern seems to attract these types
Son of A Geek
You know them. They have 100 Star Wars figurines mounted on a wall or a life size replica of Iron Man’s suit. Remember neatly displayed versus vomitfest of collectables.
Curio Cabinets are great for Vader, Skywalker, and Solo to hang out
Maybe keep all the “toys” nicely shelved and displayed in one room but keep signature pieces out for conversation starters
Frame old comic books
A gaming area of course (uncluttered)
Use Lego for decor
Keep collectables neatly displayed
Get geeky wallpaper for the half bath (think Star Wars Toille)
Smart home equipped
Have fun with videogamed themed color palettes
Display old gaming systems
Room Ideas from Modsy
My Dad is Old World
The intellectual father has more reserved, but stylish tastes. Think Harry Potter vibes…
Card Catalogs for Furnishings
A Reading Nook for those bedtime stories
Have an ongoing Chess area - intellectual and design savvy.
Rich leather and velvet furniture
Dark Academia looks
Taxidermy
Maps and Globe Decor
Candles and Lanterns
Antiques including apothecary bottles, medical equipment, an old microscope perhaps
Chemistry flasks as vases
Framed schemas and patents of engineering feats
Ephemera everywhere (typewriters, cameras, bike parts)
GOAL!
We cannot dismiss our favorite sports fans, but you don’t want your living space to be or smell like an old locker room. Sports dad should be able to display their love of the game with these winning ideas.
Find sports memorabilia that you can put in shadow boxes
Framed Jerseys
Barware is a great way to root for your team in a more subtle way (Wooden coasters, team engraved glasses, etc)
Hanging skateboards with cool art makes an eye catching display
Vintage sports equipment make for balanced decorating
Use your team’s colors throughout
Trophy cases
Create a “game” room for you and the kids to play and watch your favorite matches/games
A large flat screen TV
