Home is more than four walls and roof. Home is a door opening to you, your family, your pets, your lifestyle, your neighborhood, your community, your city. It’s all encompassing on so many levels.
Gratitude Attitude
It’s time for being grateful and giving thanks, but also doling out acts of kindness in a bleak world…
We are at the time of year where we say thanks and graciously appreciate all that we have. I know it’s been rough. I think this year has tried to kill any spirit i have left. I feel a lot of us are struggling in ways we hadn’t seen before and they can be both scary and disorienting. The best thing to do to remedy these feeling is to do something good. I’m big believer in collective energy and I fear that is what the world is missing right now. That energy is also contagious, so if we all just tried to do something kind and good for others, perhaps we can shift this heavy dark weight?
Here’s a start:
VOLUNTEER: Find a local charity and take a day with you, your family, your friends, whoever and go help an organization out.
FUNDRAISE: Hold a donation drive for your favorite local charity. Every bit counts so make it fun and festive while helping these organizations stay afloat.
WRITE A LETTER: Whether you send a card or write a letter, you won’t believe what it feels like to see that in the mail amongst all the bills. I guarantee you, it will make someone’s day.
DELIVER A MEAL: Make some baked goods or a simple meal to bring to other’s doorsteps. It will be a delight for sure!
OFFER TO BABYSIT: My friend’s with kids are so exhausted. They barely have time to spend with each other or do anything for themselves. Frankly, I’m tired of seeing kids at breweries. Volunteer some time to babysit for your friends. They will appreciate the the cherished time spent on adulting.
DRIVE BY COMPLIMENTS: This is one of my favorite TikTok things. I love the people at stop lights or driving by slowly and giving others compliments. The smiles are so worth it! Positive Catcalling if you will!
TEACH: Do you have a friend who is constantly needing help with a skill that you possess? Take a day and have a teaching session. This not only goes a long way, but you are giving something of great value to someone else.
It doesn’t take much to be kind or to appreciate the things you have. Giving others the same will bring everyone to a better place.
This year I am raising money for the following charities, help me reach my goals!
Photo: Jesus Espinosa/Xinhua via ZUMA Press
Cruz Roja Mexicana: The Red Cross in Mexico to help those displaced during Hurricane Otis.
Jeremy and Kristen Turner: Friends of mine who lost everything in the Lahaina, Maui, Hawaii Fire. They are just trying to start over.
Latin Ballet of Virginia: I love this organization and what they do to give kids confidence in their identity and connects them with their culture. It is an organization close to my heart and who doesn’t love to dance!
The Pilgrimage to Tradition
Creating new traditions can be a fun way to establish your new home…
The holidays are here and with that comes the legacy of ritual. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately in terms of what Covid has changed and the way we are in gathering spaces. Growing up, we rarely celebrated the holiday dinner at home, even though my mom was the Queen of cookery between households. The traditional holiday dinner in my family was spent at my Uncle Eddie and Aunt Elgene’s house in the country. With eight of their children along with 12 grandchildren, they didn’t need much to get the party started. By the time our family of four showed up, there was a kitchen counter, a large table, and three additional tables full of food and desserts ready to be gobbled up.
“Eat at a restaurant instead of making everything from scratch. I always thought I’d prefer to make it myself but it ends up becoming a big ball of stress for me!”
“We put up our tree the second weekend in November.”
The creep into the eve consisted of dancing cousins, horses indoors, and George Jones on the turntable. My brother and I remember our dad carrying us out of the backseat of Buick and to our beds if we didn’t win the insistent begging to stay the night.
“I open my doors to anyone I know (and some I don’t) who has no other place to go.”
“We burn a yule log on the solstice, we said goodbye to xmas.”
As I got older with divorced parents, the holidays just became an obligation I was most apathetic about. I had rather been invited to a friend’s family home instead. Whilst in college, I opted to not come home to my my parents with new partners and then I got married. The tradition to visit one, two, three, and a fourth home for the holidays became a treacherous, but bittersweet ritual. His family, like the Walton’s, were easy to get along with and there was never a lack of good eats. I sometimes miss that former life where the table would seat 15-20 people and the din would be loud and full of life.
“Go on vacation for Thanksgiving with my spouse and forgo the family drama.”
So, now we come to today. Mom is East, Dad is South, and Brother is West. My partner’s mom is in Canada, the rest of my family overseas as well. Doesn’t make for the warm gathering of holiday cheer does it? Now that I own my home, I finally get to have a say in annual customs! I thought I’d share for all you who grew up in traditions you may not have liked very much or that weren’t very efficient.
THE TREEDITIONAL DECORATIONS
My brother was allergic to pine growing up so we never could have a real tree. Every year we plan a family trip to a tree farm and spend the day picking and cutting our own while exploring a cute town. Consider the day you want to put up the tree or do decorations, but do it as a family and take an opportunity to get some memorable photos.
THANKSGIVING SUPPER
Make whatever you want. Who says you always have to make a turkey and a ham? I prefer a good steak or italian. I also prefer not to cook on Thanksgiving. Eating out has been pleasurable and so much less mess to clean up!
THE OPEN HOUSE
I love a holiday open house. People come and they go and they bring dishes and so forth. It’s less formal and more fun!
SWITCH HOUSES
Every year, draw for who gets to do the holiday meal and yes, you might have to fight with mom on this one.
Photo Source: Momfluential
SHARING GRATITUDE
Have everyone write down what they are thankful for and put them in a jar. When everyone is indulging in coffee and desert, pass the jar around and read off what you pull.
FLICKS
Every Christmas we watch Elf with cookies and cocoa and popcorn. It’s the best. Watching a holiday movie is more fun with a crowd.
GAMES
My family used to play Bourré after the holiday meal and I cherish those memories of watching them play. Games are a great way to have fun and engage everyone before they fall into the food coma.
HOLIDAY BRUNCH
I love the idea of brunch on Christmas rather than Christmas dinner when everyone is exhausted.
THE FAMILY THAT GIVES TOGETHER
A really great way to honor the holidays is to get a group of family and friends together and give back. Choose a non-profit you can volunteer at or host your own food drive.
BANNING AT THE TABLE
If there is a family member who is the constant friction in your holiday plans, cut them out. Seems harsh, but once they start to notice they aren’t invited to the table, then a real conversation begins. It’s too stressful having someone always being judgy and argumentative for the holidays. Those times are for calm and peace.
ADULT HOUR
Implement a cocktail/mocktail hour before dinner with nice music and company. Send the kids outside or somewhere else in the house and take an hour to ease your way to the holiday meal. As soon as we walk into the door, my mom wants to feed us. I always feel rushed, so in my house, we chill for a little bit while things are cooking and people are arriving.
HELP
Every holiday traditional meal should end with help to break down. Nothing is worse than having loads of dishes and clean up to do after spending hours in the kitchen. This is a good way to teach the kids some empathy!
SLEEP OVERS
I love this tradition of sleeping over the eve of or on the holidays. It’s cozy and fun and a great way for everyone to bond.
TRAVEL
I love traveling on the holidays! It has been my favorite tradition to implement. Book a trip solo or have a beach or mountain stay with the fam.
WISHLISTS
You could all sit and do your holiday wish lists together over hot chocolate and treats.
SANTA LETTERS
I love doing a custom Santa letter that gets “sent” by Santa himself.
Whatever you decide to do for the holidays, make it as stress free as possible. Traditions don’t have to be exhausting or complicated. They don’t have to be conventional or boring either. Have fun with it and enjoy all that holidays are supposed to be—joyous, festive, and cozy.
Pass the Gravy, the Year is a Bit Dry
I’m giving thanks to an unlikely source this year…
It’s about that time of year again where we thank our people and we express our gratitude for the things we have. I think it should be practiced everyday — saying thanks, but I know this holiday is reserved for such appreciations. I find it to be a day of mourning really, but I can also find the light of being with family…hm, yeah this year is looking a little slim in that department. I’m basically going to make a nice meal for my immediate family and give blessings to those who have given and sacrificed a lot so that we may eat, drink, and be merry.
There are many things we can be grateful for at Thanksgiving. As I will gaze upon a leafless table this year, missing my Aunts and cousins as we battle for the most backhanded compliments, and my fiancé struggles to translate the abundance of conversations in Spanish around him. “They are talking about me, aren’t they?” I will zone out and continue to imagine a Manhattan waiting for me down a long gravel road. I’ve never been one for holidays, or getting together with family for that matter. I end up exhausted, feeling bad for myself or pissed off. Thanksgiving in particular is not my favorite of American traditions, however I love a day off of work.
This year will be quite different, for when the time comes to give thanks, i will be grateful for an unlikely source — Covid. Now before you gasp in disapproval, or want to hand me to the loony bin, hear me out. Sometimes Aunt ‘Rona needs to come in and upset the table on its end so we look at the mess we need to clean up. I don’t think there is any denying that we have been given an emotional, financial, occupational, mental and historical mess this time year. We’ve been routinely sitting at the same table for so long that we pass the potatoes with assembly line precision, that the taste of turkey, cranberries, and yams seem to have no difference. Now, this American tradition we hold so dear has literally become — dangerous, I cannot miss the irony here.
So while I’ll miss the three separate trips to families homes, the incessant need for my Aunt to comment on my weight, love life, or dress, or my step-father’s niece showcasing her recent “augmentation” at the dinner table, colorful as it all is, I’m thankful for the disorder Aunt Rona has made. As I will look down the table from my first sitting at its head, I would like to bow my head and be truly grateful for these truths:
Thank you, Covid, for time. Time to do more physical activity which had not been present in the last five years. Time to take walks and call my distanced dad and brother more frequently which I take for granted sometimes. Time to text my family overseas to send a little gif or meme and say hello. Time to educate myself in subjects I’ve always been interested in, but never found the time to read about. Time to explore my city and my state finding hidden gems everywhere. Time to save money for the home I’ve always wanted. Time to do my job better and be more creative. Time to bring my Aunt to her doctor’s appointments and get her groceries. Time for road trips and new adventures. Time to reconnect with long lost friends that I’ve loved from afar. Time to love my neighbors by helping them take care of their homes and our neighborhood. Time to purge and cleanse the past. And mostly, time to dream. Time to dream about my future and my quality of life.
Thank you, Covid for bringing lasagna to the table.
I truly believe that chaos comes before peace. There are so many things I can be grateful for including my clients I’ve had an opportunity to build relationships with, and while they get a seat at the table, there are others we should show our utmost appreciation for:
Our exhausted healthcare workers. I have friends on the frontline and I do not think they have had to work harder in their lives. We must continue to give them praise for the work they are doing.
Our educators. I think we’ve seen the challenge they’ve been given and their dedication to our children is apparent. They deserve a lot more than they’ve been given.
Our neighbors. The kindness which has stemmed from this time is remarkable. From delivered goods to mowing lawns to walking pets, it has been nice to receive and give these acts in such a dark time.
So, thank you Covid, as I show respect and honor to those who were here before us and those who have contributed to the well being of others and this planet, let us not forget the true essence of home for the holidays. Let’s be grateful for those moments we take for granted and let’s take this time to work on our progression so that we may all sit together again in peace. Now pass the rolls, it’s cheat day, we have 4 seasons of The Crown to binge and let’s be truly thankful for the one thing I think we can all agree on — this year being almost over.