Home is more than four walls and roof. Home is a door opening to you, your family, your pets, your lifestyle, your neighborhood, your community, your city. It’s all encompassing on so many levels.
The Pilgrimage to Tradition
Creating new traditions can be a fun way to establish your new home…
The holidays are here and with that comes the legacy of ritual. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately in terms of what Covid has changed and the way we are in gathering spaces. Growing up, we rarely celebrated the holiday dinner at home, even though my mom was the Queen of cookery between households. The traditional holiday dinner in my family was spent at my Uncle Eddie and Aunt Elgene’s house in the country. With eight of their children along with 12 grandchildren, they didn’t need much to get the party started. By the time our family of four showed up, there was a kitchen counter, a large table, and three additional tables full of food and desserts ready to be gobbled up.
“Eat at a restaurant instead of making everything from scratch. I always thought I’d prefer to make it myself but it ends up becoming a big ball of stress for me!”
“We put up our tree the second weekend in November.”
The creep into the eve consisted of dancing cousins, horses indoors, and George Jones on the turntable. My brother and I remember our dad carrying us out of the backseat of Buick and to our beds if we didn’t win the insistent begging to stay the night.
“I open my doors to anyone I know (and some I don’t) who has no other place to go.”
“We burn a yule log on the solstice, we said goodbye to xmas.”
As I got older with divorced parents, the holidays just became an obligation I was most apathetic about. I had rather been invited to a friend’s family home instead. Whilst in college, I opted to not come home to my my parents with new partners and then I got married. The tradition to visit one, two, three, and a fourth home for the holidays became a treacherous, but bittersweet ritual. His family, like the Walton’s, were easy to get along with and there was never a lack of good eats. I sometimes miss that former life where the table would seat 15-20 people and the din would be loud and full of life.
“Go on vacation for Thanksgiving with my spouse and forgo the family drama.”
So, now we come to today. Mom is East, Dad is South, and Brother is West. My partner’s mom is in Canada, the rest of my family overseas as well. Doesn’t make for the warm gathering of holiday cheer does it? Now that I own my home, I finally get to have a say in annual customs! I thought I’d share for all you who grew up in traditions you may not have liked very much or that weren’t very efficient.
THE TREEDITIONAL DECORATIONS
My brother was allergic to pine growing up so we never could have a real tree. Every year we plan a family trip to a tree farm and spend the day picking and cutting our own while exploring a cute town. Consider the day you want to put up the tree or do decorations, but do it as a family and take an opportunity to get some memorable photos.
THANKSGIVING SUPPER
Make whatever you want. Who says you always have to make a turkey and a ham? I prefer a good steak or italian. I also prefer not to cook on Thanksgiving. Eating out has been pleasurable and so much less mess to clean up!
THE OPEN HOUSE
I love a holiday open house. People come and they go and they bring dishes and so forth. It’s less formal and more fun!
SWITCH HOUSES
Every year, draw for who gets to do the holiday meal and yes, you might have to fight with mom on this one.
Photo Source: Momfluential
SHARING GRATITUDE
Have everyone write down what they are thankful for and put them in a jar. When everyone is indulging in coffee and desert, pass the jar around and read off what you pull.
FLICKS
Every Christmas we watch Elf with cookies and cocoa and popcorn. It’s the best. Watching a holiday movie is more fun with a crowd.
GAMES
My family used to play Bourré after the holiday meal and I cherish those memories of watching them play. Games are a great way to have fun and engage everyone before they fall into the food coma.
HOLIDAY BRUNCH
I love the idea of brunch on Christmas rather than Christmas dinner when everyone is exhausted.
THE FAMILY THAT GIVES TOGETHER
A really great way to honor the holidays is to get a group of family and friends together and give back. Choose a non-profit you can volunteer at or host your own food drive.
BANNING AT THE TABLE
If there is a family member who is the constant friction in your holiday plans, cut them out. Seems harsh, but once they start to notice they aren’t invited to the table, then a real conversation begins. It’s too stressful having someone always being judgy and argumentative for the holidays. Those times are for calm and peace.
ADULT HOUR
Implement a cocktail/mocktail hour before dinner with nice music and company. Send the kids outside or somewhere else in the house and take an hour to ease your way to the holiday meal. As soon as we walk into the door, my mom wants to feed us. I always feel rushed, so in my house, we chill for a little bit while things are cooking and people are arriving.
HELP
Every holiday traditional meal should end with help to break down. Nothing is worse than having loads of dishes and clean up to do after spending hours in the kitchen. This is a good way to teach the kids some empathy!
SLEEP OVERS
I love this tradition of sleeping over the eve of or on the holidays. It’s cozy and fun and a great way for everyone to bond.
TRAVEL
I love traveling on the holidays! It has been my favorite tradition to implement. Book a trip solo or have a beach or mountain stay with the fam.
WISHLISTS
You could all sit and do your holiday wish lists together over hot chocolate and treats.
SANTA LETTERS
I love doing a custom Santa letter that gets “sent” by Santa himself.
Whatever you decide to do for the holidays, make it as stress free as possible. Traditions don’t have to be exhausting or complicated. They don’t have to be conventional or boring either. Have fun with it and enjoy all that holidays are supposed to be—joyous, festive, and cozy.
RVA Holiday Gift Ideas
Not sure what to get them? Check out these unique and fun gifts from your favorite RVA businesses.
Nobody likes to admit our flaws, but I have to admit, I am a terrible procrastinator. I tend to have an extra dose of it during the holidays and I think it’s because I stress on my gift giving abilities (Will they like it? Is this too expensive? Do I have to get my boss a present too?) and truthfully, I hate giving gifts that will end up at the regifting party.
While my friends’ holiday cards fill my mailbox and my block is blindingly illuminated in decorations, I’m trying to send an email I rewrote five times now! Point being, holiday planning is not my forte, I prefer the receiving end of it all. When I go get to shopping, I’ll be finding the most unique and functional gifts for family and friends so not to mimic my aunt’s taste for Dollar Store bath soaps and porcelain chickens. So, if you are not into the socks and underwear crowd, try these unique and creative gift ideas for your family and loved ones. What better way to support our RVA small businesses!
Happy shopping! (click on photos for links)
World of Mirth
Everything about WOM is magical during holiday season. So many unique gifts from child to adult. I love the staff here usually, but during this time, they are uber patient and helpful. I mean where else can you find The Hip Hop Queens Oracle deck or Dolly Parton air freshener? If you want to gift your new mommy some cool baby duds, this is the spot!
Clay Ground
You know what a cool gift is? Art. You know what a cooler gift is? Art they can make. Clay Ground is a ceramic studio on the east end of Richmond, offering classes, open studio hours, private lessons, private events and membership. It is a really fun way to make art and new friends or you know, relive those Ghost scenes! Gift certificates are also available.
Alma’s RVA
If you are looking to support our local artisans as well as a local business owner, look no further than Alma’s. They have subscription boxes, gift certificates, and one of kind jewelry, glassworks, ceramics and so much more. I cannot tell you what a treat Northside got when Mrs. Miser set up shop. Please check their website for their latest installations. and workshops.
RVA Tattoos
With over 50 shops to choose from and a myriad of incredibly talented artists, RVA does not lack on this unique gift. Who doesn’t want their deposit paid for or a gift certificate to their favorite ink well. Additionally, a lot of these places sell artwork and merch from their artists as well . Give a gift that will literally be permanently remembered.
Cooking Classes
I know a lot of people who love to cook and want to sharpen their skills by expanding their home menus. Some want to fine tune or learn to use diverse ingredients while others just want to learn to cook healthier. Giving the gift of cooking not only is a great gift, but it’s only going to benefit you at the next dinner party.
Jewelry
RVA has some fine jewelry makers and who doesn’t want cool bling to show off. You can support our local jewelers and also give someone a unique statement piece. Shop these and get all your bijoulicious wares.
It’s Leatha
We have some very talented leathersmiths here in RVA, and what better long lasting items to present to your loved ones. I particularly like the knife roll that Van Herten crafts and the cool patterns and name of Blackbyrd, badass. Awl Snap has everything from clutches to backpacks for all their toting needs.
Musical Performances/Dance/Theater
If your people are anything like me and enjoy going to a show, then I suggest tickets to support the local performing arts and our very few venues. Check out who is coming to The National, The Camel, The Broadberry, or Richmond Music Hall. Both Richmond Ballet and Latin Ballet of Virginia have gift certificate purchasing available. In addition, The Richmond Symphony has recorded music and gift certificates for purchase to any performance. Give them the gift of improv with Coalition Theater or give them the theater experience with a gift certificate from Virginia Rep. In addition to their annual performances, you can also get them dancing with a class from Dogtown Dance Theater.
Foods
RVA has some great local flavors to enhance any stocking or gift box. Check these out!
I Think You’re Freaky and I Like You a Lot
The holidays are not just for the traditional socks and underwear crowd. If you are looking for something a little different Rest in Pieces is your spot. Cool taxidermy, tarot cards and all things strange, RIP has what you’re looking for.
Words
For those bookworms, go by Chop Suey or Fountain Bookstore and get some local authors’ works and if they are in love with the written word, present the present of a writing class, Life in 10 Minutes is a fantastic way for them to explore their inner scribe.
Social Clubs
Give them the gift of hanging out. RVA has some great social clubs to help them impress clients, interact, and enjoy a communal lifestyle.
Hands On
Get them a class or gift certificate to the Visual Arts Center, membership to Build, RVA or Workbench RVA. The gift of learning is strong Santahopper.
