Love Shack Baby!

There you are, minding your own business and then they walk into the room. They walk towards you—cue slo-mo. You sheepishly bat those lashes, they confidently go in for the kiss. You smile and then quickly reject potential kiss to present the pile of dishes in the sink they forgot to do this morning before leaving for work. Not today sweety, not today.

This is just a typical scene of couples cohabitating. ANYONE who says it’s so easy to live with someone else is either a liar or has found some long lost unicorn in some foreign land. Rainbows aside, living together takes finesse, patience, and boundaries. Buying or renting a home together also has its various challenges. So let’s explore.

The Six Month Rule

In high school, my psych teacher taught me a valuable lesson (thanks, Mr. Pillow). Every relationship changes at six months. Six months is the period where you are contemplating a life with this person. It is the time when the infatuation ends and the observations begin. It’s when you’ll notice everything from the way they sip their coffee to the way they manage their money. Keep this in mind for later…

Your Place or Mine?

As time rolls and the relationship becomes deeper with sleepovers becoming more frequent, the “Let’s live together” convo happens. This is a crucial part of the relationship and where things become wide open. it’s mostly justified in financial terms, saving money and all, but it also comes down to not wanting to be apart from your person for too long. So comes the decision on who will be cohabitating with whom. This is where you consider the size of a place, the location, and the ability to house pets. Do they own or do they rent? It gets a bit risky in this instance.

My House, My Rules

If you are moving in with someone who owns their own place, there are some things you should know. They have a routine, a home routine. They aren’t used to having your dirty laundry mixed in with theirs or your soy milk inhabiting the fridge. You might like to wake up at 5am for Yoga Sundays at the foot of the bed and they might like late night hangs with their guests at home. Be aware of these things and open up that communication when considering living in someone else’s home. Love or not, this can be a deal breaker situation. I’ve seen many a relationship fall apart over spilt toothpaste and leaving just one slice of bread in the bag. Talk about everything from eating habits to cleaning routines to cultural routines (there must be rice in the house at all times!)

(Our) House

This scenario entails a relationship that is potentially in it to win it. You’ve been dating almost a year, and they had planned on buying a home. Are you to be buying with them or will they become your landlord? I’ve seen a few couples go through this—they are both renting, one has plans to buy, the other can’t buy. due to low credit or inconsistent job history. It can be sticky because it’s not just a committed relationship, but a committed financial and transactional relationship. Sure, you can hear the wedding bells in a far off distance, but you’re also still considering the “what ifs”.

To the person buying the house, I’m going to go with my mom’s advice—always be prepared for the worst case scenario. I’ve seen some pretty ugly breakups and there can be challenges depending on what type of agreement you have. This is also a conversation to be had, hard or not, you don’t want to a) get stuck with a mortgage you can’t possibly pay on your own, b) have an ugly court battle, or c) have to give up the house all together. Always have a contract between you. I know it’s not the most romantic endeavor, but it is one that will keep you and your heart safe. Look, I’m rooting for you here, but remember communication is key in every relationship, in addition to reality checks.

Crossing the Threshold

“The average cost of a wedding in 2021 was $28,000 (including the ceremony and reception), according to The Knot's 2021 Real Weddings Study.” - Nerdwallet

That’s more than a downpayment most times. I think this is solid advice, and coming from someone who paid $25K for their first wedding. If I had to go back, I would opt for owning a home. Couples just starting out, be smart—do you want to begin wedded bliss in debt or would you rather start building some equity together? Think about what a wedding means to you and whether having an extravagant affair trumps having your very own home. In addition, think of the money you will be saving for the possible wedding of your dreams. Put a ring on it and build for your future together.

Happily Ever After

No matter how you decide to cohabitate, the wisest advice I can give is to talk to each other about what living together will look like. Discuss everything from who will take the dog out to the tourettes you seem to get while sleeping. As I said, it is not easy living with someone you love, sometimes more difficult than family. Have plans, make cohabitation contracts, respect each other’s space, and love and be loved where you live. Happy Hunting!

National Lender Professionals Month: Proving Your Worth

I am not a numbers gal. I was really bad at Math—surprisingly good at Algebra though, go figure. Anyway, when people mention numbers to me, my eyes kinda glass over and I start thinking about donuts. I know you are so excited about buying a home. You’ve got your showing shoes on and your vision board in tow, but honestly the first thing you should do before even contacting an agent is finding out what your budget is going to be. Why? Well it saves both you and I time. I cannot tell you how many clients I’ve shown $400K homes to, but they could only afford at $300K house. A lender will also give you the foresight to see what those monthly payments are going to look like. So if you are making a $1,200 monthly rental payment and that’s your max, then you definitely don’t want to look at homes that will give you a $2,300 monthly payment.

Finding a good mortgage lender is more than just finding the one with the best mortgage rate. A good mortgage lender will:

• Explain things clearly and will assess your financial abilities to purchase a home

• They will provide you with options for different mortgages that will suit your needs

• They will be responsive in their process

• They will be good teammates with your Agent. If you are already working or know your Agent, they will usually have a good referral

• They will be a good fit for you. You have to work closely and also be tr

Mortgages, Taxes. Insurance. All these things are tied into your loan and a lender can explain how all this works out financially. And let’s be honest here, this is a big life changing investment, you don’t want just anyone handling your loan approval. When I got into this business, I had several clients ask me questions about the listing and buying process—easy peasy, but then when buyers ask about the loan process, that was a little more challenging on my end. Here’s a little help:

To Download, Click Infographic

If you are thinking about buying a home, the best point of action is to start planning. Talk to a lender today and call me when you’re ready! Let’s do this!

The Schizzo Market

I was scratching my head thinking about what I was going to write about this month. So many of my clients, friends, and acquaintances ask me about the market. Currently the market is an unpredictable schizophrenic and truth be told, I’ve always known it as being highly competitive, multiple offer situations, and disheartened buyers walking way in tears because $100K over is too rich for their blood—and mine.

We’ve had this very strong, very long lasting market, but as with all things, change is inevitable. We are seeing drastic dives in home sales, the 24 hour sale is becoming a little sluggish, and the question of are or aren’t we in a recession is prevalent. It’s all connected, from the war in Ukraine to the record high eviction rates to the pandemic, we’re now playing tug of war.

Housing prices aren’t lowering that’s for sure and demand is still up there. Inventory is getting a little better, as we are seeing more listings pop up. Yes, folks, those Realtor letters filling your mailbox is no mistake. It’s an ideal situation for all those moving out of RVA or downsizing, but you first timers are feeling the sting of your outbidded tears still.

The best advice I can give to any first time home buyer is patience. If you can’t buy right, open up a savings account and stick it all in there and continue to build those funds because this won’t last forever and interest rates will lower again. What I find helpful in these times is to talk to lenders. The money people have great ways to guide and also give great information on what’s happening on their end.

Two of my most recommended lenders are Mark Horton and Octavio Wilson. Mark knows his stuff and is very good about informing clients and Octavio is equally as good, but with my Spanish speakers. Mark has a podcast that is proving to be quite informational and also a way to ask questions without the commitment of sitting in an office when you are unsure about what you are doing. Check out his videos and feel free to reach out to him or my other preferred lender, Olivia Smith and plan, plan, plan. Then come talk to me and I’ll do the rest!

Check out and subscribe to Mark’s podcast: